I LOVE the Word of God. In James 1:19,20 it says “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
In the ESV study notes below it explains as follows.
“The self reliant anger of man, even when directed against some wrongdoing, fails to recognize that mere human reproach cannot change another person’s heart, and thus it does not produce the righteousness of God. Nor indeed is such anger fully righteous itself. God is holy and righteous, requiring that his people emulate his righteous character…we are to conduct our lives by the will of God, according to his standards.”
So even when someone is truly in the wrong in coming against us and we feel wounded and angry, we must recognize that if we retaliate out of our human pain, their hearts will not be changed. It takes the POWER of GOD to change a human heart. This is a deep understanding and requires us to recognize when we are wounded and want to lash out, but we decide to take a time out and refuse that temptation. Yes, even when we are NOT in the wrong. We may feel angry “with just cause” yet God calls us, His mature sons and daughters, to HIS utmost standard of righteousness and holiness in our conduct.
I simply turn myself in.
“God, I feel angry and hurt right now, because of what happened. I know this isn’t coming from you. I want to come up to YOUR standard of righteousness and I acknowledge I cannot change anyone else’s heart by venting my anger toward them no matter how much I believe it is warranted. BY YOUR GRACE I come to you first. I want Your righteous and holy character to be formed in me. Amen.”