When I got the diagnosis that my then five-year-old daughter had “pervasive developmental disorder” I was devastated. As a psychologist I understood that this term was under the category of autism, a disability of life-long impact. As other possible diagnoses presented themselves over the years, the pressure to “fix” her became impossible.
Out of sheer desperation I turned to God. His instruction to me was simple and direct. He spoke into the trauma and asked me this – “Can you just…love her?” From that moment of hearing His voice, through all the medications, new therapies and supernatural experiences, His words continued to hold me and navigate our course through very troubled waters.
As I struggled to understand and find solutions for Kelsi and her behaviors, Kelsi simply struggled to understand a world that was too loud, too fast-paced and too overwhelming for her. God’s presence in the midst of our everyday life was and still is very real, calming and hope-filled.
God still uses everything I go through to draw me closer to Him.
He has trained me to expect good things no matter what things look like to my natural eyes. As I communicate His truths to Kelsi in her panic-filled thoughts in the moment, or Kelsi hears God speak to her directly, she calms down. Always. Nothing freaks God out, and nothing separates me, Kelsi or anyone else from His love.